Reflecting on others’ perspectives

Putting your agenda on hold • 3 min read

#PsychFact

A 2015 study from the International Journal of Listening demonstrated that active listening has a wide range of benefits across organisations, such as: developing greater trust; more effective team collaborations; enhanced individual and group decision-making; and improved productivity, creativity and innovation.

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Honing listening skills

1. Give the speaker regular encouragement

When people feel that they aren't being listened to, they can stop sharing information. This is why it’s essential to show the speaker that you know where they’re coming from by validating their feelings.

For example, you could say something like, “That must have been tough for you,” or simply nodding and showing your understanding through an appropriate facial expression. It can also help to give words of encouragement, such as, “Please go on” or “I'm listening.”

2. Resist grabbing sentences

It can be hard to slow down our brain chatter enough to listen effectively, so we can end up interrupting by finishing off the other person’s sentence. Not only can it be rude, but it sends an array of messages, e.g.,

"I don’t care about your opinion."

"What I have to say is more interesting, accurate or relevant."

"This isn't a conversation, it's a contest, and I'm going to win."

Try to resist this temptation by allowing your mind to create a mental model of the information being communicated — whether a literal picture, or an arrangement of abstract concepts.

When listening for long stretches, concentrate on key words and phrases. If your thoughts start to wander, immediately force yourself to refocus.

At a suitable lull in the conversation, you can reflect by restating their key sentiments in your own words.

3. Ask questions to ensure understanding

Asking questions not only shows that you’re actively listening but that you’re also willing to hear different perspectives. It also:

1. Demonstrates your interest and makes the other person feel listened to.

2. Allows you to clear up any incorrect assumptions.

3. Takes the conversation to a deeper, more thoughtful level.

For your own understanding, you could even clarify what you’ve heard by repeating back key elements. However, to avoid coming across as patronising, you could say, “I’m going to put this in my own words to make sure I understand.” This will help to clearly outline where you’re coming from.

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Key takeaways

1. It's important to show the speaker you’re listening. You can do this by validating their concerns with words of encouragement and appropriate gestures.

2. Try to avoid following your own train of thought and finishing the other person’s sentences. We can stop these impulses by listening to the other person’s words and visualising what they’re trying to say.

3. Asking questions not only demonstrates your interest, but can also clear up any incorrect assumptions, while potentially taking the conversation to a deeper level.

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Think big, act small

Why not start actively listening by focusing on three aspects: Cognitive — paying attention to outlined information; emotional — channelling empathy throughout the conversation; and behavioural — showing engagement and interest through your words and body language.

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Content sources

• Forbes, Councils Member Experts Panel, ‘15 Ways That Leaders Can Sharpen Their Active Listening Skills’

• Forbes, Ray Makela, ‘Four Behaviors To Make Active Listening Your Superpower In Sales’

• Forbes, Heather Cherry, ‘How To Use The Power Of Active Listening To Boost Your Career Now’

• Forbes, Dianne Schilling, ‘10 Steps To Effective Listening Forbes’

• Harvard Business Review, Melissa Daimler, ‘Listening Is an Overlooked Leadership Tool’

• Harvard Business Review, Robin Abrahams & Boris Groysberg, ‘How to Become a Better Listener’