Negotiation in resolving conflicts
- Philip Brophy
- Mar 26
- 3 min read
Getting it off your chest • 3 min read
An international study conducted by CPP Global in 2020, found that, in the UK, 26% of individual contributors found conflict to be common, as did 20% of managers.
More than a third had experienced interpersonal conflict within the past year. This included single incidents to consistent working relationships issues.
Introduction
Ever felt frustrated over the inability to express your true feelings in work?
These frustrations can often stem from minor or major disagreements — the colleague who talks on the phone like he’s doing a stand-up act, or the manager who tends to shoot down your input in every meeting…how about the constant assumption that you’ll work on weekends without even being asked?
Tensions can constantly simmer beneath the surface in workplace environments — but it’s just so hard to vent your feelings and bring the issue at hand to the table.
Today, we’ll look at how to engage and collaborate in conservations that work towards finding resolutions to conflicts and workplace tensions. This will help create a more harmonious and stress-free environment for all involved.
Building blocks for negotiation
Stressful conversations are unavoidable in life, and negotiating outcomes to conflicts counts as one of these types of stressful interactions, causing such anxiety that most people simply avoid them due to the emotional load they carry.
When faced with such interpersonal conflict, we may, depending on our communication style, resort to one of the following five methods.
Competition or domination of the other side (I win, you lose).
Avoidance (you and I both lose).
Accommodating or obliging the other (I lose, you win).
Collaboration or integration (you win and I win).
Compromise (we both win some and lose some).
Forward solutions means striving for an ‘accommodation and collaboration’ mindset, as opposed to one of ‘avoidance and competition.’
This focuses on a win-win outcome that stems from a fair proposal with both sides engaging in problem solving.
How do we negotiate successfully?
It really depends on a number of factors. But let’s first look at:
Principled negotiation
This involves using objective criteria — looking beyond hard-and-fast positions to try to identify what each party’s underlying interests are.
Instead of drawing hard and fast conclusions on a issue, e.g., “If Karen claims she doesn’t have enough time to take on the project; that’s her problem, not mine. She clearly has time management issues. We need her to buck up!,”
How about taking a more impartial (yet empathetic) outcome-driven stance? — What are the basic needs, wants, and motivations of both parties?
For example, how about this approach? — “Karen has referred to workload issues, and I recognise that there may be stresses coming from other areas of her role. However, this will likely impact the output of our project as a whole. How can we all take a more holistic approach and see how her stress can be alleviated, distributing some of the workload while not impacting others?”
By taking focus off, a) the nature of the relationship (e.g., historical distrust and/or hostility), and/or b) positional bargaining (e.g., Karen wants less work while we want her to try harder), principled negotiation encourages us to see ourselves as collaborating problem-solvers, finding mutually beneficial options.
Key takeaways
When looking at negotiating to solve workplace conflicts, try to adopt an ‘accommodation and collaboration’ mindset — this will focus on a win-win outcome based on a fair, objective proposal geared towards problem solving.
Channel objectivity by focusing on the problem, not on the people. When we invest strong emotions in an issue, and on the idea of defeating your opponent, the negotiation process will become more complex, with egos more likely to get in the way.
With principled negotiation, the goal is not to “win,” but to listen to what’s important to others, dealing with emotions and personality conflicts separately from the issues at stake. We can achieve this through active listening and identifying areas where there may be room for compromise.
Think big, act small
Can you try your hand at “principled negotiation?”
When you next engage in a stressful conversation, aim to actively listen to promote generative dialogue.
Up next, more techniques for navigating the seas of conflict to create win-win scenarios, reducing stress levels for all involved.
Content sources
Center for Management and organizational effectiveness, 'Workplace Conflict: Statistics That Reveal Its Cost'
Program on Negotiation Harvard Law School (https://www.pon.harvard.edu/), 2022, Katie Shonk, ‘Principled Negotiation: Focus on Interests to Create Value’
Harvard Business Review, 2001, Holly Weeks, ‘Taking the Stress Out of Stressful Conversations’
Forbes, 2021, Forbes Council Member, ‘14 Key Skills And Traits To Hone For More Successful
Psychology Today, 2020, Arash Emamzadeh, ‘The Psychology of Negotiation, Explained’
Verywellmind.com, 2021, Elizabeth Plumptre, 'Why Giving an Ultimatum Can Hurt Your Relationship'
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